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Put an AND in there!

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In my last post we talked about the ‘OR’.  Finding the solution to your OR first has to start with you knowing that you are worthy and lovable so that you can put an AND in it.

In order for you to SEE where to start in CREATING the time, setting boundaries, putting the effort in or to use resources to heal emotional eating you need to really get that you are worth asking for what you need.  There may be sometimes that you getting what you need, yes, it may take away from others.  BUT in my experience since 2007 working with thousands of women there is an even better AND that comes out of it all. Let me explain.

One of the biggest things I hear from women considering releasing weight is that;

“I don’t have time or money to do this so I don’t do anything and just stay stuck.”

Let’s pretend you decide that you are worthy to have the life that you REALLY want.  One that is full of living a life FREE from emotional eating.  A life where you are loving the life you live because you feel vibrantly healthy!  Next from this place you stand up in knowing that you are wonderful and lovable and bravely ask your loved ones to support you in becoming a happier version of you.

  • What will your loved ones get from having a happier version of you?
  • Will they be happier too because your mood is happier and free?
  • Will your loved ones get to experience life doing the things that you all really want to do?

Put an ‘AND’ in there!  I can be healthy AND others can be happy.

Is that not the best AND you can find?  Lets take a look at a few others from yesterday.

OR : “I don’t have time to be healthy. If I take the time to cook healthy or go for a walk I will have to take time away from work (or my family) and they won’t like it. So I don’t take the time to be healthy”

AND: “I can watch a little less TV and sit down with my family and ask them what things they would like to eat this week.  Then I can have a smaller portion and add some veggies to the meal for me or even everyone.  I can take just 20 minutes to do this.  I can take time to cook healthy AND with my family’s input they will be on board!”

OR: If I use money to be healthy than we will not be able to eat out as much and my family won’t like that.  I can be healthy OR my family can be happy.”

AND:  Eating out 3 times a week is not getting me closer to my weight loss goal.  I am spending money on things that are taking me further away from where I want to go in my weight loss.  I can talk to my family about how much money we are spending in dinning out and how lowering it down to 1 or even 2 times per week would help save money and we would all be healthier.  I can use the money we save to invest in resources to help me heal emotional eating and lose weight!  We can still dine out, AND we will ALL get healthier.

I know this is a scary thing to consider asking for what you need.  SO do this when you are ready. In the meantime know that you are worthy of having the life you truly want to live!   No matter what resources you need to get you there, just know that you are worth it!

  • What are your OR statements?
  • How are you planning on turning them into an AND statement?
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Is people-pleasing keeping you overweight?

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Is people pleasing keeping you overweight?

“What?! How is that possible?!”

So many of the women that I coach get stuck in putting others first. They feel strongly that if they take time or resources to take care of themselves, then they will be taking away from others in their lives.

In addition many of the ladies I coach people please by pushing themselves past what they are able to do, at work, at home, all day long, and eventually end up operating from an empty bucket. Operating from an empty bucket as we have talked about before makes it so much easier for you to return to using food to escape.

Do you struggle to get healthy because you are coming up against things like?

  • “I don’t have time to be healthy. If I take the time to cook healthy or go for a walk I will have to take time away from work (or my family) and they won’t like it. So I don’t take the time to be healthy”
  • “I don’t have money to be healthy. If I use some money to get support or use some money to cook healthy than I will have to take money away from the things that my family ( husband , kids, etc.) likes to do and they will not be happy. So I don’t take action in my health and weight loss because I don’t want to upset them.”
  • “If I make a healthy smoothie in the morning I will wake up my kids so I can’t eat a healthy breakfast.”
  • “If I use money to be healthy than we will not be able to eat out as much and my family won’t like that.”

It all boils down to: “If I take care of me it means that I have to take away from others.”

In this place the theme is you are stuck in an ‘OR’

I either take care of me OR I can take care of others.

So in this place the fear of hurting someone’s feelings is a higher priority than your feelings and needs. This is a perfect recipe for stuffing down your true needs with food. I understand these types of concerns. They can be very scary to face and ask for what you need to be healthy. Especially if you have had a history of “failed diet attempts”.

If you were to share your true struggles with your family and help them understand why you want to try again and use whatever resources you need to heal emotional eating and finally release the weight for good, what would be the best thing that comes out of that?

I am sure that by doing things to make you happier and healthier you would be adding on YEARS to your life. Wouldn’t the people in your life that love you like to have those extra years to spend with you?

I invite you to take inventory in your life, where are you stuck in people pleasing? This is just more information to help you understand WHY you are emotionally eating. You can take action on these areas when you are ready. For now, lets just explore with curiosity!

Where are you stuck in using an “OR”? “I either make a healthier dinner for me, making me happy OR I can make what they want, making them happy.”

  • How is people pleasing keeping you stuck in being overweight?
  • Where in your life are you using an OR and it is keeping you stuck in not truly taking care of your needs?
  • Where in your life are you spending resources that are not getting closer to having a healthier life?
  • If you were not afraid of what others in your life would say or do, what type of resources would you ask for to be healthy?

“Just for today I reflect on where the ORs are in my life.

Just for today I notice where I am stepping on my own needs and not asking for what I need by people pleasing.

Just for today trust that I am valuable and I am kind to myself today.

Just for today I try on what it would look like in my weight loss and overcoming emotional eating if I were to ask for the resources truly I need to be healthy.

Just for today I am worthy to make this beautiful gift of my one life the happiest healthiest version possible!

Just for today I see where I can start to get support by letting go of some of the ORs in my life.

Just for today I am worthy to do what it takes to overcome emotional eating and finally release the weight for good!”

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3 Month Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Boot Camp

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The “LIVE IT 3 Month Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Boot Camp” is in full swing now and the results are coming in;  we just completed 2 full weeks.

What are clients saying?

“I’ve released 5.2 pounds already and I feel committed to this journey and will reach my goal. I am so grateful for the coaching support, group support, and Coach Emmie’s dedication. “

“I’m celebrating my mindset shift form perfection to progress and feeling the release and happiness of living more in the middle. I appreciate the process of learning, the confidence I’m gaining and the support from all the ladies.”

“I released another 1 pound this week and what is exciting is I know I can stick with this for life!”

“I released 3.2 pounds and more importantly I went through a typical trigger time without emotional eating, HUGE breakthrough for me! The structure with flexibility of this program has been incredible.”

Congratulations to the 11 members in the group who are releasing the emotional eating, committed to eating clean without being perfect. They are living the Blissfully Healthy 8 Essentials For Vitality! Because of Living this WELLNESS FIRST Approach so far together as a team they have released a total of 21 pounds! So proud of these ladies for deciding it is their time to make a change and being committed to making their health and weight loss a priority!

What are Live It Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Boot Camp Members Eating?

Below are a few pictures from a few of the LIVE IT Program members. All recipes provided within the group program materials and resources.

3 Month Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Bootcamp

  • Top Right: Steak Fajita Salad
  • Top Left: Quinoa Veggies Dish
  • Bottom Left: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies
  • Bottom Right: Crock Pot Mexican Stew

Are you struggling with emotional eating?

A big part of healing is being heard. We need connection to heal. There is a spot for you here; coaching support starts at just $47 a month.

Do you have questions about coaching support?

One thing I know for sure, reaching out and asking for support can be a very scary thing. It’s a big step to decide that maybe getting support is what you need to finally conquer your struggles around food and weight.

You don’t have to do this alone, I am here to help. You’re going to feel relieved to have answers as to why you do what you do and then to be able to learn solutions that will work your unique needs. Please fill feel free to reach out to me by simply click here and send me any questions you might have.

If you know you would like to set up a Free 60 Minute Discovery Session to see what type of support is best for you we can do that too. I look forward to hearing from you — You don’t have to do this alone!

Let’s Chat
With Love Always
Emmie

coach Blissfully Healthy womens weight loss center

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When Willpower Doesn’t Hold Out

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Behavior change is a process, and people often approach change from all the wrong angles.

BJ Fogg, a Stanford University professor, talks about 10 mistakes people make when trying to change their behavior.

Here is one of the mistakes:

Relying on willpower for long-term change. Imagine willpower doesn’t exist. That’s step #1 to a better future. Willpower is based on trying to control your behavior. Willpower is white-knuckling it. Willpower is temporary.

How have you seen this derail your wellness journey?

Instead, get to the roots of why you have the drive to engage in the unhealthy behavior in the first place.

What works?

Willingness!

Willingness NOT Willpower.

Just for today, I am willing to put the effort in to be healthy.

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Can I enjoy food without emotional ties?

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Do I only enjoy food because of the emotional ties that go along with emotional eating?

This last weekend at our New Year, New Lifestyle Event I was asked a great question: “Is there a time when overeating is not emotional eating? That you are eating food simply because you enjoy it?”

My response?

Yes, there are times when you will want to eat food because it tastes good.

You WILL BE ABLE to mindfully enjoy and taste it. You can savor three bites or so of let’s say, ice cream, then you will be able to pause and check-in with yourself to see if you are satisfied or if you find yourself wanting a bit more.

The difference is, if you are overeating (meaning you are eating past stomach satiety, eating too fast, or shoveling it in without even tasting it) and you find you are not pausing, stopping eating and checking in with yourself, then it is most likely either:

1.) an emotional eating situation
or
2.) a physiological imbalance in your body that is driving you to eat past the point of satisfaction.

What a great question, right?!

I hope this information gives you a little more insight into what is keeping you stuck. Next time you find yourself wanting to eat a treat, try being curious! No judgement, just pause, think for a second and ask yourself: “What am I asking the food to do for me?”

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What does emotional eating look like?

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Many women turn to emotional eating for a variety of reasons.

6 Reasons for Emotional Eating

Reasons for Emotional Eating #1 : Boredom 

reasons for emotional eating - boredom

During the holidays many people experience “Bored Eater” tendencies, otherwise known as eating just because. This is one of the reasons people tend to gain weight during the holidays!

Reasons for Emotional Eating #2 : Grazing 

reasons for emotional eating - grazing

With this type of emotional eating you may find yourself going back to the kitchen for snacks over and over again throughout the day even though you are not really hungry.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #3 : Nightcap 

reasons for emotional eating - nightcap

You may be nightcap eating if you find yourself going back to the refrigerator over and over again to try and quiet an unquenchable food craving, yet no food or quantity of food seems to satisfy the craving. Does this sound like you? You are not alone!

Reasons for Emotional Eating #4 : Earned It! 

reasons for emotional eating - reward

“I deserve it” or “I’m too busy to cook” is a dangerous way to eat, especially if you are resorting to fast, unhealthy foods.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #5 : Binging 

reasons for emotional eating - binge eating

Over the holidays people commonly identify with this type of emotional eating, the problem lies when it doesn’t stop after the holidays. If you are struggling to lose weight and have tried every diet around, now may be the time to try something different.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #6 : Secret Eating

reasons for emotional eating - secret eaters

Last year, Shape magazine interviewed 2000 women on the topic of eating disorders. 60% of the women surveyed admitted to being “secret eaters”.  Nearly one in four admitted to being “secret eaters;” 23% of the women copped to hiding all the evidence.

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