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In my last post we talked about the ‘OR’.  Finding the solution to your OR first has to start with you knowing that you are worthy and lovable so that you can put an AND in it.

In order for you to SEE where to start in CREATING the time, setting boundaries, putting the effort in or to use resources to heal emotional eating you need to really get that you are worth asking for what you need.  There may be sometimes that you getting what you need, yes, it may take away from others.  BUT in my experience since 2007 working with thousands of women there is an even better AND that comes out of it all. Let me explain.

One of the biggest things I hear from women considering releasing weight is that;

“I don’t have time or money to do this so I don’t do anything and just stay stuck.”

Let’s pretend you decide that you are worthy to have the life that you REALLY want.  One that is full of living a life FREE from emotional eating.  A life where you are loving the life you live because you feel vibrantly healthy!  Next from this place you stand up in knowing that you are wonderful and lovable and bravely ask your loved ones to support you in becoming a happier version of you.

  • What will your loved ones get from having a happier version of you?
  • Will they be happier too because your mood is happier and free?
  • Will your loved ones get to experience life doing the things that you all really want to do?

Put an ‘AND’ in there!  I can be healthy AND others can be happy.

Is that not the best AND you can find?  Lets take a look at a few others from yesterday.

OR : “I don’t have time to be healthy. If I take the time to cook healthy or go for a walk I will have to take time away from work (or my family) and they won’t like it. So I don’t take the time to be healthy”

AND: “I can watch a little less TV and sit down with my family and ask them what things they would like to eat this week.  Then I can have a smaller portion and add some veggies to the meal for me or even everyone.  I can take just 20 minutes to do this.  I can take time to cook healthy AND with my family’s input they will be on board!”

OR: If I use money to be healthy than we will not be able to eat out as much and my family won’t like that.  I can be healthy OR my family can be happy.”

AND:  Eating out 3 times a week is not getting me closer to my weight loss goal.  I am spending money on things that are taking me further away from where I want to go in my weight loss.  I can talk to my family about how much money we are spending in dinning out and how lowering it down to 1 or even 2 times per week would help save money and we would all be healthier.  I can use the money we save to invest in resources to help me heal emotional eating and lose weight!  We can still dine out, AND we will ALL get healthier.

I know this is a scary thing to consider asking for what you need.  SO do this when you are ready. In the meantime know that you are worthy of having the life you truly want to live!   No matter what resources you need to get you there, just know that you are worth it!

  • What are your OR statements?
  • How are you planning on turning them into an AND statement?

Is people pleasing keeping you overweight?

“What?! How is that possible?!”

So many of the women that I coach get stuck in putting others first. They feel strongly that if they take time or resources to take care of themselves, then they will be taking away from others in their lives.

In addition many of the ladies I coach people please by pushing themselves past what they are able to do, at work, at home, all day long, and eventually end up operating from an empty bucket. Operating from an empty bucket as we have talked about before makes it so much easier for you to return to using food to escape.

Do you struggle to get healthy because you are coming up against things like?

  • “I don’t have time to be healthy. If I take the time to cook healthy or go for a walk I will have to take time away from work (or my family) and they won’t like it. So I don’t take the time to be healthy”
  • “I don’t have money to be healthy. If I use some money to get support or use some money to cook healthy than I will have to take money away from the things that my family ( husband , kids, etc.) likes to do and they will not be happy. So I don’t take action in my health and weight loss because I don’t want to upset them.”
  • “If I make a healthy smoothie in the morning I will wake up my kids so I can’t eat a healthy breakfast.”
  • “If I use money to be healthy than we will not be able to eat out as much and my family won’t like that.”

It all boils down to: “If I take care of me it means that I have to take away from others.”

In this place the theme is you are stuck in an ‘OR’

I either take care of me OR I can take care of others.

So in this place the fear of hurting someone’s feelings is a higher priority than your feelings and needs. This is a perfect recipe for stuffing down your true needs with food. I understand these types of concerns. They can be very scary to face and ask for what you need to be healthy. Especially if you have had a history of “failed diet attempts”.

If you were to share your true struggles with your family and help them understand why you want to try again and use whatever resources you need to heal emotional eating and finally release the weight for good, what would be the best thing that comes out of that?

I am sure that by doing things to make you happier and healthier you would be adding on YEARS to your life. Wouldn’t the people in your life that love you like to have those extra years to spend with you?

I invite you to take inventory in your life, where are you stuck in people pleasing? This is just more information to help you understand WHY you are emotionally eating. You can take action on these areas when you are ready. For now, lets just explore with curiosity!

Where are you stuck in using an “OR”? “I either make a healthier dinner for me, making me happy OR I can make what they want, making them happy.”

  • How is people pleasing keeping you stuck in being overweight?
  • Where in your life are you using an OR and it is keeping you stuck in not truly taking care of your needs?
  • Where in your life are you spending resources that are not getting closer to having a healthier life?
  • If you were not afraid of what others in your life would say or do, what type of resources would you ask for to be healthy?

“Just for today I reflect on where the ORs are in my life.

Just for today I notice where I am stepping on my own needs and not asking for what I need by people pleasing.

Just for today trust that I am valuable and I am kind to myself today.

Just for today I try on what it would look like in my weight loss and overcoming emotional eating if I were to ask for the resources truly I need to be healthy.

Just for today I am worthy to make this beautiful gift of my one life the happiest healthiest version possible!

Just for today I see where I can start to get support by letting go of some of the ORs in my life.

Just for today I am worthy to do what it takes to overcome emotional eating and finally release the weight for good!”

It’s not about the food. It’s not about knowing “what” you should do and “making” yourself do it. Freedom and a sustainable blissfully healthy lifestyle comes from identifying and healing emotional eating.

Does Julie’s emotional eating story speak to you?

“Julie” came to Blissfully Healthy for coaching because she felt frustrated and helpless. Even though she knew eating a lot of sugar and candy bars were not something that would bring her health and vitality, she had an insatiable craving every night to have one.

Every night Julie would get a hankering to get a candy bar on her way home from a long day at work. Every day the inner dialogue would be an inner battle. This is what it sounded like:

“Candy bars are bad. I want to lose weight. I shouldn’t eat candy bars. I shouldn’t eat candy bars. They are so bad for me. UGH! … But I WANT the candy bar. Screw it! I don’t care. I had a horrible day. Ok just this last time, then starting tomorrow I won’t have any candy bars every again.”

One candy bar would turn into two, and then into anything she wanted to eat for the rest of the night. A typical weight loss coach would talk about strategies and things to do to distract, and in some ways we do that here at Blissfully Healthy as well. But those strategies – no matter how good – aren’t likely to stick unless we get to the root of the problem.

In one of our private coaching sessions we used an emotional tool together and found her core attachment to food that was driving emotional eating. When she was 4 years old her mom and dad got divorced. She remembers feeling an immersible hole where once there was a connected, secure relationship with her Dad, now completely vanished. Suddenly and without warning he was out of her life, and remained so for over a decade. Julie’s Mom went into a deep depression and became emotionally and many times even physically unavailable to meet her basic needs as Julie’s mom struggled even just to get out of bed some days.

Julie remembers being so lonely, lost and hungry. One of these times she discovered a drawer in the kitchen full of candy cars and ate one. She remembers feeling an immediate comfort and joy from the sweetness, and her immense hunger subsided. The emotional pain she didn’t understand at 4 years of age melted away for a few minutes as she enjoyed that candy bar.

As time went on, whenever she felt alone in those early years she would go to that drawer and eat a candy bar. Ever since that day she has struggled with sugar, especially candy bars.

As we used the emotional tool together in her private coaching session, Julie noticed a profound inner shift. “I feel like a heavy weight I have been carrying around with me has just been lifted.”

Her body relaxed into the couch. She took a deep breath. She left that session no longer craving candy bars. The urge that she had been fighting for decades and trying to control with countless diets was just gone. It dissolved as we discovered the subconscious driving emotional need the emotional eating was trying to fulfill.

As we continued our work together in private and group coaching over the coming months, she remarked that she didn’t even want candy bars most days and when she did, she could eat a bite or two and stop without fighting herself. Now that we had dismantled the emotional attachment to food, she was easily able to make nutritional changes from a place of willingness – and it became a joyful thing to release weight! We spoke very recently; not only was she able release over 40 pounds, she has maintained her weight loss over the past 2 years!

Not everyone’s reason for emotional eating is this deep or extreme, but for some it is even deeper. Everyone is different.

Yes, nutrition matters. Moving your body matters. But the results will not stick unless the emotional work is done. This is the type of work most people simply cannot do alone. We need someone to walk along with us, guide us, create an emotionally safe space for us and empower us to release these attachments.

Download my free eBook: Why Diets Don’t Work

We add-in emotional tools and dismantle attachments to food, so now food just becomes food. Food is fuel, not therapy! Private coaching is about releasing emotional eating coupled with nutritional guidance that naturally effects weight loss as a side effect of healing emotional eating.

Extra weight is a symptom of emotional eating. Emotional eating is a symptom of a need to self-soothe. So we discover what is causing that need in a safe place of private coaching or women’s only group coaching. Many times clients choose a combination of private and group coaching for the additional feeling of communal support and empathy it creates.

The Blissfully Healthy coaching program is about creating food freedom, not food restrictions! You can eat a potato chip and not want any more. Where you can have your previous binge foods in front of you and not even be tempted. Not that you can’t eat them, simply because you don’t want any – because you’re making loving choices for your body, instead.

Clients find they look forward to using the emotional tools because they provide immediate relief – and more effective relief. Stay with me here, I know what you’re thinking: “I can’t imagine anything providing an emotional escape better than food. No way!”

But I’m telling you that it’s true. When you change your mindset and adopt emotional tools, you no longer have a “food scarcity” mentality. There is no more forcing yourself, no mustering up the willpower or kicking yourself to do the healthy things. You no longer crave hours sitting on the couch in front of the TV or numbing out with a sugary treats. Instead you crave using your emotional tools. You look forward to moving your body. You want to cook and enjoy healthy food.

You enjoy eating delicious food without losing control because we’ve identified and healed the core issues around food and your body, so you can let go of the drive to use food. There is nothing left to control. This is why I always say, “It’s not about controlling emotional eating, it’s about releasing it.”

If you’re ready to take a step toward your own journey of healing and a blissfully healthy life, a free one-hour discovery session is my gift to you. Simply request a coaching session using the form on my contact page or use the button to schedule your session today. 

The “LIVE IT 3 Month Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Boot Camp” is in full swing now and the results are coming in;  we just completed 2 full weeks.

What are clients saying?

“I’ve released 5.2 pounds already and I feel committed to this journey and will reach my goal. I am so grateful for the coaching support, group support, and Coach Emmie’s dedication. “

“I’m celebrating my mindset shift form perfection to progress and feeling the release and happiness of living more in the middle. I appreciate the process of learning, the confidence I’m gaining and the support from all the ladies.”

“I released another 1 pound this week and what is exciting is I know I can stick with this for life!”

“I released 3.2 pounds and more importantly I went through a typical trigger time without emotional eating, HUGE breakthrough for me! The structure with flexibility of this program has been incredible.”

Congratulations to the 11 members in the group who are releasing the emotional eating, committed to eating clean without being perfect. They are living the Blissfully Healthy 8 Essentials For Vitality! Because of Living this WELLNESS FIRST Approach so far together as a team they have released a total of 21 pounds! So proud of these ladies for deciding it is their time to make a change and being committed to making their health and weight loss a priority!

What are Live It Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Boot Camp Members Eating?

Below are a few pictures from a few of the LIVE IT Program members. All recipes provided within the group program materials and resources.

3 Month Emotional Eating and Weight Loss Bootcamp

  • Top Right: Steak Fajita Salad
  • Top Left: Quinoa Veggies Dish
  • Bottom Left: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies
  • Bottom Right: Crock Pot Mexican Stew

Are you struggling with emotional eating?

A big part of healing is being heard. We need connection to heal. There is a spot for you here; coaching support starts at just $47 a month.

Do you have questions about coaching support?

One thing I know for sure, reaching out and asking for support can be a very scary thing. It’s a big step to decide that maybe getting support is what you need to finally conquer your struggles around food and weight.

You don’t have to do this alone, I am here to help. You’re going to feel relieved to have answers as to why you do what you do and then to be able to learn solutions that will work your unique needs. Please fill feel free to reach out to me by simply click here and send me any questions you might have.

If you know you would like to set up a Free 60 Minute Discovery Session to see what type of support is best for you we can do that too. I look forward to hearing from you — You don’t have to do this alone!

Let’s Chat
With Love Always
Emmie

coach Blissfully Healthy womens weight loss center

Today I want to share a golden nugget with you that was a catalyst to my own transformation as well as a key piece of what is now the Blissfully Healthy Program.

One of the most powerful concepts that has helped so many of the clients I coach is:

 There will never be enough food to solve any feeling or emotional issue.

I know you know this. It sounds simple, but this is SO powerful to really get! There will never be enough because food cannot solve emotional issues. We could fill the room you are in now with your favorite foods and eat them all, and still, the problem you are now facing and the feelings you are now feeling would still be there.  When we are emotional; sad, mad, guilty, scared, or even want to celebrate because we are happy, over-indulging in food ALWAYS leads to negative emotions. More negative emotions can lead to a LONGER and MORE MISERABLE time in that emotional situation.

When you are in an uncontrolled eating episode, or thinking that ‘I want to just indulge in that’ (chocolate cake, potato chips or even inactivity) remember that if it’s because there is an emotional situation going on, which is common, using food or inactivity is the LONG route to solving the emotional situation!

Do you want to feel better? Yes, of course!
Telling yourself this truth in the moment will bring you back to finding-a-solution mode.

What do you need to resolve the emotional situation?

This is when knowing you are strong enough to do this will keep you creating solutions. You are being brave and feeling your emotions so that you can heal. Being brave and honoring your needs helps you turn to food less.

If food does not solve the emotional stuff, what will?  

Go after that answer! You are worth it! You deserve to be happy. Food and inactivity will not solve any emotional need.

Here is your anchor statement:

“Just for today I chose to be true to myself and honor what I need to be happy. I know that food and inactivity will not solve any emotion. I am worthy. I am enough right now, here, today. I trust that by honoring what I need to heal my emotions, I will get through them faster and with a greater end reward. I know that when I stay true to what I need to get past emotional issues I will feel better. When I feel more balanced I refuel my desire to BE healthy so that I DO healthy things, which then WILL have my transformation!”

Have a Blissfully Healthy Day!

With Love and Gratitude Always,  Emmie Perez

P.S.   You’re invited to connect with me.  Click here to set up a chat with me to see if wellness coaching is a good fit for you.

Emotional Eating Coach - What is emotional eating?

Are you ready to stop hating yourself?

Ready to change the relationship you have with your body? Are you ready to be happy and finally achieve the wellness you’ve always wanted?

Hello, my name is Coach Emmie, owner of Blissfully Healthy Women’s Wellness Center,where I specialize in helping women break free from emotional eating and redesign their lifestyle so that they finally love their body and the life they are living.

I have been in your shoes. I overcame body hatred and emotional eating and as a side effect, I released 50 pounds.  I know the pitfalls of trying to control emotional eating and hating every inch of my body. And, especially understand the ins and outs of overcoming emotional eating. Since finding my solution to my emotional and physical wellness, I’ve dedicated my life to helping other women who have these same struggles achieve the same results!

Where do you start in order to have a breakthrough in emotional eating?

In my experience of coaching hundreds of women over the past 10 years, one of the first things that creates a breakthrough is loving you. Stop body shaming yourself. OK, before you click “delete” let me explain a little more.

I know what you are thinking, “How can I love myself the way I am now?  I hate my body! There is no way I would love myself the way I am now, besides if I allow myself to love me now, then I fear I will just be even more out of control with food!”

I understand. I get you. I know this step may be very scary for you. The truth is that YOU CAN’T HATE YOURSELF HAPPY. Hating yourself actually keeps you stuck in unhealthy habits, emotional eating and not having the desire to do the healthy things like making healthier food choices, moving your body, or taking time for you. What you need is a little relief, comfort, and acceptance. So that is where we start in overcoming and breaking through!

How do you begin to love yourself?

I have just the thing to help you bridge the gap from hating yourself to loving yourself. Most women honestly are not able to go from hating to love themselves overnight. So, to break through the self-hate and body shaming thoughts, we start with baby steps.

Your first baby step is acceptance.

If you can’t feel love for yourself, then start with acceptance. Start with accepting who you are now and where you have been. If you don’t feel willing to accept yourself the way you are now, today, start with PARTS of you. Make a list every day of three things you accept about yourself—your features or your character. This will begin re-training your brain to look more towards the positive. Start giving yourself a little relief so that your desire to do the healthy things: think kinder thoughts, eat healthier, move your body more, will start to flow again.   Yes, being kind to you actually inspires motivation!

Once you are grounded in acceptance then move to liking yourself or liking parts of you. Then the liking yourself easily transforms to loving yourself!

You see this journey HAS to be built on unconditional love for yourself, the you, you are now, today, instead of hate or conditional love. What you have been doing has not worked. Hating yourself has not worked. In fact, if you are like many of the women I work with the hating yourself may actually be causing you to be more emotional and then to want to emotional eating more, spend more, or drink more; leading to more thoughts that beat you down .. a body hatred cycle! The hating yourself is keeping you stuck in emotional eating and unhappiness.

Let go of the hate and body shaming. Start accepting the you that you are right now…the you that you are today. Because, you are enough and lovable just the way you are. Stop the self-hate. Start accepting yourself.  Start liking yourself.  Start loving yourself and you will naturally achieve your ideal wellness!

The journey to your personalized wellness solution is an inside job. Your breakthrough has to be based in being kind to yourself and eventually truly loving who you are no matter your size or weight. That unconditional love for yourself helps you stay willing to do the healthy behaviors that lead to your ideal wellness.

Here is an example:

Just for today I accept:

  1.    I have curly blonde hair.
  2.    That I have beautiful blue eyes.
  3.    I have cankles and I accept them! I am grateful for my cankles, because I will never have ankle problems because they are strong!

Give yourself this gift. Take just one baby-step forward. What are your 3 things you accept about yourself? Take a moment to write yours down now.

Have a Blissfully Healthy Day!

With Love and Gratitude Always,  Coach Emmie Perez

P.S.   You’re invited to connect with me.  Together we will discover if coaching is the right fit for you from personalized coaching to a women’s-only community who understands the same issues you do.

Emotional Eating Coach - What is emotional eating?

Do I only enjoy food because of the emotional ties that go along with emotional eating?

This last weekend at our New Year, New Lifestyle Event I was asked a great question: “Is there a time when overeating is not emotional eating? That you are eating food simply because you enjoy it?”

My response?

Yes, there are times when you will want to eat food because it tastes good.

You WILL BE ABLE to mindfully enjoy and taste it. You can savor three bites or so of let’s say, ice cream, then you will be able to pause and check-in with yourself to see if you are satisfied or if you find yourself wanting a bit more.

The difference is, if you are overeating (meaning you are eating past stomach satiety, eating too fast, or shoveling it in without even tasting it) and you find you are not pausing, stopping eating and checking in with yourself, then it is most likely either:

1.) an emotional eating situation
or
2.) a physiological imbalance in your body that is driving you to eat past the point of satisfaction.

What a great question, right?!

I hope this information gives you a little more insight into what is keeping you stuck. Next time you find yourself wanting to eat a treat, try being curious! No judgement, just pause, think for a second and ask yourself: “What am I asking the food to do for me?”

Do you know how to lose weight?

Do you know that if you consistently ate healthier and moved your body more you would most likely lose weight? Yes, of course!

Most of the women I work with know what the basics are to losing weight. Over the past eight years I have worked with smart and educated women just like yourself! I have coached women in a variety of professions from teachers, executive directors, stay-at-home moms, nurses, marriage counselors and even nutritionists.

Why is it that both you and these other women know how to lose weight, but you’re not doing the behaviors that would result in weight loss? You may even be a professional dieter and know all the calorie levels and portion sizes of food. The truth is that it is not a knowledge issue.

Most women know that they need to eat healthier and move their body more. When you find yourself not doing it–or using food to cope with stress–there is a gap that needs to be addressed! Or, you may even be resistant and not wanting to do the things that you know would help you drop the weight. Either way it is ok, I understand. I was once there myself.

Over the next few months I’m going to begin to talk about and help you understand this gap.

Today I would like you to know…REALLY know, that all those weight loss programs that you have done, all those ‘failed diet attempts’ and regaining the same pounds over and over again was not due to YOUR failure but instead what you NEEDED was not included in that diet. The diet’s failed you.

Because, you see, a diet will not help you overcome an emotional eating issue. A diet deals only with food and activity, NOT an emotional issue. I want you to know even if just for today, you are not alone in your struggles and your weight problem is not because you are not smart enough or educated enough.

To overcome an emotional eating problem you need to have a comprehensive approach that is one step at a time; addressing the mental, emotional, nutritional and physical aspects while providing REAL tools so that you CAN let go of the need to use food a little more each day.

Know that you are not alone. Decide that today you are letting go of the self-blame and beating yourself up about past diet failures. Just for today, be kind to yourself.

 

Many women turn to emotional eating for a variety of reasons.

6 Reasons for Emotional Eating

Reasons for Emotional Eating #1 : Boredom 

reasons for emotional eating - boredom

During the holidays many people experience “Bored Eater” tendencies, otherwise known as eating just because. This is one of the reasons people tend to gain weight during the holidays!

Reasons for Emotional Eating #2 : Grazing 

reasons for emotional eating - grazing

With this type of emotional eating you may find yourself going back to the kitchen for snacks over and over again throughout the day even though you are not really hungry.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #3 : Nightcap 

reasons for emotional eating - nightcap

You may be nightcap eating if you find yourself going back to the refrigerator over and over again to try and quiet an unquenchable food craving, yet no food or quantity of food seems to satisfy the craving. Does this sound like you? You are not alone!

Reasons for Emotional Eating #4 : Earned It! 

reasons for emotional eating - reward

“I deserve it” or “I’m too busy to cook” is a dangerous way to eat, especially if you are resorting to fast, unhealthy foods.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #5 : Binging 

reasons for emotional eating - binge eating

Over the holidays people commonly identify with this type of emotional eating, the problem lies when it doesn’t stop after the holidays. If you are struggling to lose weight and have tried every diet around, now may be the time to try something different.

Reasons for Emotional Eating #6 : Secret Eating

reasons for emotional eating - secret eaters

Last year, Shape magazine interviewed 2000 women on the topic of eating disorders. 60% of the women surveyed admitted to being “secret eaters”.  Nearly one in four admitted to being “secret eaters;” 23% of the women copped to hiding all the evidence.