This one is the kicker! It is the one that without it, you will get stuck along your weight loss journey. This is the one that makes all the difference. This is the Key that will allow for ALL 5 Keys work so that you CAN stay motivated and get results!
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Our healthy journey starts with motivation and the desire for change! In this four week series of Wellness Wednesday tips we are talking about the 5 Keys to Motivation! Are you lacking motivation? Contact us today for a complimentary discovery session to see how we can help!
Do you want to release weight but emotional eating sabotages your healthy intentions?Are you scared to feel and therefore eat to feel better instead?
Do you find yourself thinking:
“I don’t know how I’d get through the week if I didn’t have treats to make me feel better?”
Today, I am giving you another stepping stone that will guide you on the path to breaking free. These are the very concepts that have worked for me as well as hundreds of my clients. I know that you want to lose weight. I know that you want to end emotional eating. And I know that the drive to use food is strong and many times just seems to overpower your weight-loss intentions.
Sometimes just thinking about the food not being there as you contemplate a weight-loss plan can trigger you into a panic… “I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to give up comfort foods!”
Then all of a sudden you may have a strong overtaking or hankering for your favorite binge foods. If just the thought of not having food to cope sends you into a downward spiral, I want you to know that you are not alone. YES you too, CAN have the transformation you want!
Let’s look at some questions to understand why you are holding onto comfort foods:
- Are you overly stressed and not taking time for you?
- Are you over-committing and saying yes to things you really want to say no to?
- Do you find yourself feeling deprived?
- What are you starving for in your life?
If these questions hit a chord in you, you are at the right place to discovering the problem.
You are you operating from an empty bucket.
Imagine your life is a bucket. When the bucket is full, your life is full of friendship, health, connection, happiness and life balance. When your bucket is empty, your life is stressful, chaotic and unfulfilling. When operating from an empty bucket emotional eating is a way you may use to try to fill up that bucket of emotional needs. But it just leaves you feeling empty and shameful about the seemingly uncontrollable behavior, so much so that you may even hide your emotional eating from others.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Feelings come up you don’t want to address, so you stuff them down with your comfort foods and the feeling is numbed out. But only temporarily. The feelings come back up and again you stuff them down, once again you feel tranquilized or numbed out for a short time. This happens over and over again while your weight goes up and up. You may know that the truth is there is not enough food in the world to fill the void that you are feeling… the way out of these feelings you are trying to avoid is through. Feeling is healing.
Start by NOT setting an expectation of yourself to deal with all the emotions that come up right now if you are not ready. You don’t have to do it ALL right now, just some. The great news is there is a way for you to overeat less, AND yes, release weight through the process of feeling to heal!
In order to use less food we start with increasing the strength of your ability to cope without food by building up your own self-care.
Permission to BINGE!
Going on a diet requires that you first take away. Take away all the bad foods, take away the comfort that you get from emotional eating, take away the pleasure of disassociating from the emotions you don’ t want to feel.
The problem with this is that you are already operating from an empty bucket! Going on a diet for an emotional eater is like punching a hole in your life-fulfillment bucket. Now you not only have an empty bucket, you have an empty bucket with a hole that no matter how much you fill it, (emotional eating) it will always remain empty… until you fix the hole.
When you go on a weight-loss plan without ADDING in enjoyment first, you are punching holes in your bucket and the drive to use food will return with a vengeance! This is called the “Diet Binge Backlash” that you may be very familiar with.
This is why in my coaching I stress the importance of ADDING in first, not taking away. We need to mend the hole by adding in more joy, fun and excitement in your life so that you can let go of the need to use food. And the great thing is that IT WORKS!
So, today I invite you to ADD in Self-Care.
100 Acts of Self-Care in 20 days!
What are you thinking…?
- “What!?! No, I will do nice things for myself when I lose some weight.”
- “If I take time for me it will take away from others and they will get upset.”
- “I don’t deserve to get my nails done until I lose some weight.”
- “Holy cow that is another thing to do with everything I already have going on in my life. I can’t do that.”
- “Being critical of myself is the only thing that is keeping me from NOT going even more hog wild!”
You are not alone, so many of my clients share the same concerns. ADDING in self-care may scare you. It may feel awkward or you may feel undeserving until you ‘ do better’ or lose some weight. I understand your fear and hesitation in this. It’s ok to take care of you now. You are wonderful just as you are! At the same time you are not going to stay here, stuck in emotional eating. You deserve a better life!
Letting go of self-hatred will not lead you into an unstoppable binge, it will actually provide you the relief that you need to start letting go of the drive to emotionally eat to meet your needs that you are starving for.
Denying yourself the kindness of self-care is withholding love and acceptance for yourself, which creates that empty bucket, the hole in the empty bucket and leads to emotional eating. Letting go of self-hatred will not lead you into an unstoppable binge, instead it will actually provide you the relief that you need to start letting go of the drive to emotionally eat because your needs are fulfilled.
You are worthy to do something as simple as putting on lipstick because it makes you feel pretty today. Just as you are today, you are worthy of self-acceptance and love.
Put yourself back on the priority list!
Indulge yourself in your own unconditional love. Let go of the expectation to feel it all right now and trust that by being full of self-acceptance and self-love that your bucket will be mended so that you can start filling it up! Doing soul nurturing activities starts the path to being able to use less food and release the weight for good.
Are you committed to your Self-Care Binge?
What are your 5 Acts of Self-Care that you will do over the next 20 days?
Here are some ideas to help get you started:
- Put on lipstick
- Buy new underwear! (When was the last time you bought new underwear?)
- Guilt-free relaxing in silence
- Get a massage
- Sleep in
- Slow down and enjoy a nice cup of tea
- Buy a new beautiful pen to write with
- Buy some new fluffy slippers
- Have a long talk with a good friend
- Listen to your favorite song
- Enjoy a new pair of socks. (I love the softness of new socks!)
Here is your Anchor Statement:
“JUST for TODAY I am deciding to be kind to myself and appreciate this body I have. I am grateful that I have another day to live, to love those in my life–including myself! Just for today I am deciding to start with doing five acts of self-care each day so that I mend and fill up my bucket with a rich soul nurturing feeling. I know that when I take care of me, I FEEL loved and positive and then I want to make healthier choices which creates my weight-loss transformation!”
Wishing you a Blissfully Healthy day today!
With Love Always,
Emmie
Motivational Speaker, Blogger & Certified Women’s Weight Loss Coach
Blissfully Healthy Women’s Weight-Loss Center
Are you thinking about if weight loss coaching is right for you?
Feel free to ask me questions, share your struggles and come up with solutions together. Schedule a FREE Discovery Session.
Together we can discover if coaching is the right fit for you to achieve a Blissfully Healthy Life. With personalized coaching from a women’s-only coach and community–who understands the same challenges you do–you can be free! Release the extra weight and the emotional eating. Finally find something that you can stick with and achieve real results! You don’t have to do this alone. I look forward to hearing from you!
Hello my name is Coach Emmie, owner of Blissfully Healthy Women’s Weight Loss Center, where I specialize in helping women overcome emotional eating so that they finally release the weight that they have lost and regained countless times.
I understand your struggles, because I was once where you are now. On my own personal journey I have learned the secrets to overcoming emotional eating and lost 50 pounds which I have kept off for over 10 years now. I know the pitfalls on the journey to lose the weight for good and especially understand the ins and outs of overcoming emotional eating. Since losing the weight, I’ve dedicated my life to helping other women who struggle with their weight to achieve the same results!
In my I spoke about the first step to overcoming emotional eating, today I am offering you another step forward on your journey.
Are you trying to control your drive to emotionally eat and failing over and over?
HERE IS YOUR GATEWAY TO TRANSFORMATION!
The answer is not to control the emotional eating behavior, it’s to release it…. to have it fall away because you don’t need to use it to cope with life anymore, or to soothe yourself anymore, and so in THIS place the emotional eating is released, your desire to use food fades, disappears, and so there is…nothing to control. Imagine that you are free and present to all the beauty in your life, feeling fulfilled, secure in your ability and greatness, confident in your image and open to all the wonderful possibilities that you can actually create from this place. Along this path you find that you are no longer using food and so the weight easily falls off.
It is possible for you! I am here to share how to get there. We start in understanding that trying to control the behavior does not work. Instead, let go of the desire to try to control your behavior and get present, get mindful so that you can release the emotionally eating.
I know what you might be thinking… “If I stop trying to control my emotional eating then I fear that I will lose ALL control, eat everything in sight and gain even more weight!” This idea might be bringing up some fears for you. It’s alright, let’s take a look at this one step at a time.
Think of your emotional eating and weight problem as a weed in your garden. Controlling your behavior is like plucking the leaves off the plant, but this never gets to the roots of the weed and so it grows back. We want to get to the roots of your emotional eating problem so that we can take it out at the source of the problem.
Let’s take a deeper look at this concept so that you can start to understand it more. What I see over and over in my clients who are stuck in emotional eating is that they are very disconnected from themselves. This is because the very purpose that the emotionally eating serves is to go mindless, it’s to escape from some form of pain that is going on in life.
Being mindless is the problem.
When you go mindless, you are going on automatic pilot. Through your experiences your subconscious automatic pilot has been trained to ‘numb out with food.’ If you are unknowingly feeling anything out of the range of what I like to call, ‘the numb zone,’ then your subconscious triggers your automatic pilot’s trained response of ”give me food to get back to the safe place of the numb zone!”
Even if you are happy, you may find that you want to celebrate with food to the point that you don’t feel good. Feeling horrible because you ate too much is not a loving way to celebrate and so this is also emotionally eating.
Many times the clients I work with are not able to even identify why they are emotionally eating. This I personally understand. I was there myself when I first started my journey. I would love to help you start understanding why you are emotionally eating. If going mindless is the problem, then what is the solution?
It is in the power of being present.
Being present starts with becoming aware of what you are thinking…at this moment right now, what are you thinking? Are you thinking…
“How can getting present help? Ugh, I will never be able to overcome this emotional eating thing…. How is this going to help me lose weight?’’
Take a moment and consider, what type of thinking is this above? Does this type of thinking inspire you into action?
If you are like most women that I work with, you may be getting present to how you have you been mean, harsh, and judgmental of you and your body. You may try to punish yourself in order to force yourself “back on track.” This is trying to control. How does this harsh, cold, judgmental body shaming attitude make you feel? Has this cold judgmental attitude worked for you?
Being harsh, hypercritical of your body, or trying to force control over your eating behavior cannot heal your emotional eating tendency. It can’t help you lose weight. In fact it makes it worse, it creates more struggle in your journey, more resistance, and more negative emotions that lead to wanting to numb out the very negative emotions your harsh, critical, negative thinking has created! You then may notice a sudden craving for food. In order to get back into the numb zone what do you do? Yes, you guess it …. EMOTIONALLY EAT.
Negative, mindless thinking FEEDS a weight problem!
This way of thinking has not worked for you as a long term solution. Stop the insanity! It has only kept you unhappy, stuck and unwilling to put the effort in. How could your weight or emotional eating tendency be solved by more coldness and more judgment?
You can’t expect yourself to start healing yourself until you stop hurting yourself.
I invite you to stop the negative, controlling, judging thoughts that punish you. Is it becoming clear to you now that controlling, condemning thoughts do not inspire you into action? Are you starting to see how more negative thinking adds to the struggle in your journey?
What you need most now is relief.
Your path to freedom from emotional eating is paved in a compassionate loving relationship with yourself. Adopt a present, peaceful and accepting inner voice. This concept is so powerful that when you allow a compassion voice to live inside you, you won’t have lost your control you will have gained it!
Ready to change? So how do you shift your thinking?
Use this simple way of thinking to start bridging the gap to positive and present thinking.
Just for today…
“Just for today I let go of the negative self-talk and try on a present, positive kind way of thinking. Today the mean, harsh critical thinking ends! In its’ place, just for today, I am kind and loving to myself. Just for today I am enough the way I am right now, today, regardless of my size. My journey to freedom starts with me. It’s an inside job and I am willing to be kind, loving and accepting of who I am, now in this moment. Just for today I feel secure that when I am positive and kind to myself I have more willingness to eat whole foods, move my body and make healthy choices! Just for today, I take this journey one day at a time and trust that when I am present and kind to myself my transformation will happen!”
A Compassionate, present way of thinking is the way out of your weight problem.
Are you thinking about discovering if weight loss coaching is right for you?
I invite you to contact me, together we will discover if coaching is the right fit for you to achieve a Blissfully Healthy Life. With personalized coaching from a women’s-only coach and community who understands the same issues you do, you can be free! Release the extra weight and the emotionally eating. Finally find something that you can stick with and achieve real results!
Have a Blissfully Healthy Day! With Love and Compassion Always.
***
We migrated to a new platform but wanted to preserve the comments left on our blog, like this one from former client Elizabeth C.
“Emmie, Your two articles are spot-on!! I was just talking to someone about how to learn to love yourself, and writing down three things everyday is Such a great idea!! Thank you so much, Emmie! You have once again re-inspired me to keep on this Path of self love which will translate into getting my body healthier by making better choices. Thank you, your friend and former client, Elizabeth”
Are you ready to finally lose weight? Change the relationship you have with your body image? Achieve the health you’ve always wanted?
Hello, my name is Coach Emmie, owner of Blissfully Healthy Women’s Wellness Center, where I specialize in helping women break free from emotional eating so that they finally lose weight that has plagued them for so long.
I have been in your shoes. I overcame emotional eating and becasue of that I released over 50 pounds. I know the pitfalls of trying to lose weight and being unsuccessful. And, especially understand the ins and outs of overcoming emotional eating. Since releasing the weight, I’ve dedicated my life to helping other women who struggle with their weight to achieve the same results!
Where do you start in order to have a breakthrough in wellness and emotional eating so you can lose weight?
In my experience of coaching hundreds of women over the past 8 years, one of the first things that creates a breakthrough is loving yourself. OK, before you click “delete” let me explain a little more.
I know what you are thinking, “How can I love myself the way I am now? I am so overweight and I hate my body! There is no way I would love myself the way I am now, besides if I allow myself to love me now then I fear I will just be even more out of control!”
I understand. I get you. I know this step maybe very scary for you. The truth is that YOU CAN’T HATE YOURSELF THIN. Hating yourself actually keeps you stuck in unhealthy habits, emotional eating and not having the desire to do the healthy things like: making healthier food choices and moving your body. What you need is a little relief, comfort and acceptance. So that is where we start in overcoming and breaking through emotional eating!
How do you begin to love yourself even before you lose weight?
I have just the thing to help you bridge the gap from hating yourself to loving yourself. Most women honestly are not able to go from hating to loving themselves overnight, even when they do lose weight. So, in order to breakthrough the self-hate and body shaming thoughts, we start with baby steps. Your first baby step is acceptance.
If you can’t feel love for yourself start with acceptance. Start with accepting who you are now and where you have been. If you don’t feel willing to accept yourself the way you are now, today, start with PARTS of you. Make a list every day of three things you accept about yourself—your features or your character. This will start re-training your brain to look more towards the positive. Start giving yourself a little relief so that your desire to do the healthy things: eat better, move more will start to flow again.
Once you are grounded in acceptance then move to liking yourself or liking parts of you. Then the liking yourself easily transforms to loving yourself!
You see this journey HAS to be built of unconditional love for yourself, the you you are now, today, instead of hate or conditional love. What you have been doing has not worked. Hating yourself has not worked, in fact if you are like many of the women I work with in private coaching the hating yourself may actually be causing you to be more emotional and then to want to emotional eating more and thus causing you to gain weight! The hating yourself is keeping you stuck in emotional eating and causing weight gain.
Let go of the hate and body shaming. Start accepting the you that you are right now…the you that you are today. Because, you are enough and lovable just the way you are. Stop the self-hate. Start accepting yourself. Let go of the emotional eating. Let go of the extra weight.
The journey to your personalized weight solution is an inside job. Your breakthrough has to be based in being kind to yourself and eventually truly loving who you are no matter your size or weight. That unconditional love for your self helps you stay willing to do the healthy behaviors that lead to your goal health and weight.
Here is an example:
Just for today I accept:
- I have curly blonde hair.
- That I have beautiful blue eyes.
- I have cankles and I accept them! I am grateful for my cankles, because I will never have ankle problems because they are strong!
Give yourself this gift. Take just one baby-step forward. What are your 3 things you accept about yourself? Take a moment to write yours down now.
Are you thinking about discovering if wellness coaching can help you lose weight?
I invite you to contact me. Together we will discover if coaching is the right fit for you to achieve a Blissfully Healthy Life. With personalized coaching from a women’s-only coach and community who understands the same issues you do, you can finally LET IT GO! Release the extra weight and unhealthy behaviors. Finally find something that you can stick with and achieve real results!
Have a Blissfully Healthy Day!
With Love Always, Coach Emmie
Blissfully Healthy Wellness Coaching
P.O. Box 421
Sumner, WA 98390
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